Foolproof Martial Arts Business Idea #1

Wanna get rich in the martial arts? Well, have I got some ideas for you. I mean, who needs savings accounts and IRAs and real estate?  I know the martial arts well, and one thing I know is what makes money.

So here’s Idea #1:  SELL MARTIAL ARTS RANKING CERTIFICATES.  Yup, sell em. Don’t teach classes. After all, 9 times out of 10, none of these guys will ever get into a streetfight (come on FMAers! You know 99% of all streetfights are not real enough!) so who needs skills? Skills, shmills!  Why train and ruin all those nice patches on your uniform with sweat? Hey, the 9th degree beer belly takes a lot of work to maintain, and we all know that a belly is just a large storage area for chi power…

Here’s the business common sense–martial artists like degrees like PhDs, and they won’t pay a whole hell of a lot of money for it either. Price is low and affordable enough, you’ll sell a shitload. So how about $100?

Check out the Combat Martial Arts Practitioners Association. Here’s a list of their satisfied customers. Notice that if you treat em well, they will come back the next time they get their paws on a crisp new Ben Franklin for the next highest rank. But of course, the really smart martial artists will just skip all the doo-doo and go all the way to the top and purchase a 10th degree certificate. So that’s why you have to introduce new ranks and titles all the time. This site has already done it, with “1st degree MASTER”, which is not the same as “1st degree Black Belt”… and it’s above the 10th degree Black Belt Level. Then you can do ranks. How about “Datu”? That’s always a good one. What about “Tuhon”? No, no–SUPREME Grand Tuhon Grandma Guro? Yeah, that’s me all the way baby! Only for the big spenders!

When you get your website up, let us know, I’ll collect my fee when you’ve made your first million. Thanks for visiting my blog!


Author: thekuntawman

full time martial arts teacher, full time martial arts philosopher, and full time martial arts critic

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